We all like to think that by the time high school rolls around, our teens have things under control. They’re big enough, responsible enough—and surely they’ve got this. But the truth is, even the most capable, independent teens need guidance. Sometimes they need it more than ever… they just don’t know how to ask.
This is your reminder: don’t step back too far. You’re still their anchor. And when things get tough, your support can make all the difference.
Signs Something Might Be Wrong
Teenagers are excellent at hiding how they really feel. They might shrug off a problem, bury themselves in their phones, or insist that “everything’s fine.” But here are some red flags to watch for:
Emotional Changes:
Sudden mood swings, ongoing sadness or irritability
Withdrawing from friends or family
Saying things like “I’m tired of everything” or “What’s the point?”
Academic Shifts:
- A noticeable drop in grades
- Skipping school or avoiding certain classes
- Losing interest in subjects they once enjoyed
Physical & Behavioural Clues:
- Trouble sleeping or changes in eating habits
- Complaints of headaches or stomach-aches with no clear reason
- Signs of self-harm, risky behaviour, or use of substances
Trust Your Gut—You Know Them Best
You know your child better than anyone else. If something feels “off,” trust that feeling. Don’t ignore your instincts just because they seem “old enough” to handle it themselves.
Even when they act like they don’t want you involved—they do. They may not say it, but they’re still watching how you respond, how you care, how you show up.
How to Talk to Them without the Eye Rolls
Starting the conversation can feel awkward, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do.
Try saying:
- “You’ve seemed different lately. I just want to check in—are you okay?”
- “I know you’re older now, but I’m still your safe space. You can tell me anything.”
- “We can figure things out together. You’re not alone.”
They might brush you off at first. That’s okay. Keep checking in. Stay consistent and calm. You’re building trust, even if they don’t open up right away.
When to Reach Out for Professional Help
If your teen’s distress lasts longer than a couple of weeks, if they’re struggling to cope, or if you’re seeing worrying changes in their behaviour, don’t hesitate to seek help.
Support options include:
- School counsellors or psychologists
- Private therapists
- Youth helplines and mental health organisations
Resources:
- Childline SA – 08000 55 555
- SADAG (SA Depression and Anxiety Group) – www.sadag.org | 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393
How to Support Quietly, Behind the Scenes
Even if they don’t want to talk, you can still help in ways that feel safe to them:
- Keep home life steady—routines give comfort
- Spend time together, even without talking about “big stuff”
- Help them manage stress—encourage regular breaks, sleep, and exercise
- Let them know failure or struggle isn’t the end—it’s part of growing
Be Their Constant
High school is full of pressure: grades, friends, identity, the future. It’s a lot. Your teen doesn’t need you to fix everything—they just need to know they don’t have to face it alone.
So yes, they may be big enough. But they still need you.
You’re not being overbearing by checking in—you’re being present. Keep the conversation going. Be their guide. Set them up for success.
Because knowing when to step in could be the moment that changes everything.
